Am I Missing You
by Starlight Eve
Summary: Lily is a shy but smart girl with a small circle of friends. James is the most popular boy in school, known to date girls and dump them a week later. Then he takes on Lily Evans... and things don't go as planned. EPILOGUE ADDED
1. Part 1- An Unusual Couple

Author's Note- Ok, yet another Lily and James story (oh, how I love these). But this one is different from my others. It's in their sixth year. Lily is a quiet, smart girl, who keeps to herself. James is the most popular boy in Hogwarts, the eye of every girl. He's known for going after girls then dumping them a week later. Then he asks Lily out, and does the same thing to her. But they find they are missing each other. Lily is surprised, because she has never felt this way before, and James is surprised because he's been able to dump a lot girls, and this has never happened. So, tell me what you think. I hope you enjoy.  
  
Disclamer- it all belongs to the Harry Potter people, not to me.  
  
1 All You do is Bring Me Pain  
  
  
  
Lily Evans, a sixth year, sat in a corner of the Gryffindor common room, at a table with her friends, Leslie Mann, Liz Breaker, and Christine Carter. They were quiet, and barely anyone in the Common Room noticed them.  
  
Meanwhile, in the center of the Common Room, James Potter, also a sixth year, sat amongst a group of people, talking with his best friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. The others listened or stared in wonder at the boys.  
  
The boys neither noticed Lily and her friends, nor cared about them. But that was soon to change.  
  
  
  
James walked into the Common Room, wearing that look that he always wore when he was around crying girls.  
  
"Who did you dump this time?" Remus asked.  
  
"Lucy Brown, that annoying git. She ripped my robe," James said, poking at where there was a rip in his robe.  
  
"Always told you Lucy was no good," Sirius answered.  
  
"Yeah, well at least Lucy had a rep," James told him, sitting down.  
  
"Is that what you look for in a girl, their rep?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yeah," James answered, "Mostly."  
  
"Lame, so lame," Remus whispered.  
  
"At least I date," James shot back, but smiled.  
  
It was the typical conversation that took place after James dumped that week's girl. James Potter was known to date girls for a few days, then dump them. Hogwarts was filled with disappointed girls.  
  
"So, about the prank on Snape tomorrow, what color, pink or blue?" Sirius asked, changing the subject and grinning at his friends.  
  
"What about red and gold, our signature colors?" James asked.  
  
"Perfect," Sirius answered, grinning even wider.  
  
  
  
"Chris, I've told you before, it's just a simple act of thinking about it and saying the right words," Lily told her friend, Christine.  
  
The four friends were upstairs in their dorm, since all four agreed the common room was much loud, even if their usual table was in the far corner.  
  
"Lil, I've told you before, I am not the one with the highest grades in our year," Chris said.  
  
"I wish," Lily answered, rolling her eyes.  
  
From across the room Liz called, "She's second highest, James Potter's highest, by like, one point, the git."  
  
Liz had a thing against James Potter for the fact that he played girls more than he did his homework.  
  
The door opened and Leslie walked in from the Common Room.  
  
"James Potter just dumped Lucy Brown," she annoucned, flinging herself onto her bed, and closing her eyes.  
  
"Told you he was a git. Lucy's probably off crying somewhere right now because Potter broke her heart, the poor girl," Liz said.  
  
"He's not so bad, his pranks are funny," Chris said.  
  
Liz glared at her. Les laughed.  
  
"Yet another disagreement. Better stop this one quick, Lil, I'm too tired to carry anyone down the Hospital Wing, again," Les said, closing her eyes.  
  
"Ok, you two heard Les, stop fighting. We are in agreement that James Potter is a funny git, right?" Lily asked.  
  
Liz and Chris glared, but nodded.  
  
"Ok, good. I'm going to bed, I'm tired," Lily said, smiling at her friends.  
  
"But what about my homework?" Chris asked.  
  
"You've just got to work on what I told you, then you'll get it. Don't worry about it," Lily answered, climbing into bed.  
  
"Oh, that helps. I don't even know what you said," Chris whispered and sat down on her own bed.  
  
Lily let out a giggle, and everything became quiet once more.  
  
  
  
James' breakup with Lucy was talk of most of the school the next morning. It turned out Lucy had locked herself in her dorm, and refused to eat. This, however, bothered James in the least. In fact, he was sitting in the Great Hall, drinking pumpkin juice, happy as can be.  
  
"So, James, who are you going to date now?" Remus asked.  
  
"I don't know," James answered, shrugging.  
  
"You know what you need?" Sirius asked, grinning at his friends like the world was ending.  
  
Several girls who were watching him from the Hufflepuff tabled swooned at his "award-winning smile".  
  
"What?" James asked, rolling his eyes (more girls swoon in the backround).  
  
"A challenge," Sirius answered.  
  
"A challenge, huh, Padfoot?" James asked, smiling at his somewhat- insane friend.  
  
"Yeah, a challenge, like. Lily Evans," Sirius answered, looking down the table to where quiet Lily Evans sat with her friends.  
  
"Lily Evans? Are you kidding? That's like suicide! Both physical AND social suicide!" James cried.  
  
"Padfoot, are you allright?" Remus asked.  
  
"Quite fine, Moony. So, Jamsie boy, what do you say? I think a challenge would be good for you," Sirius answered.  
  
"Padfoot, are you sure you're not sick. Lily Evans is like, different, she turns down every guy that asks her out. She doesn't date! If I did, she'd turn me down and I'd be the laughing stock of the whole school," James said.  
  
"Prongs, I'm staring to agree with Padfoot here, you do need a challenge. This is becoming to easy for you, girls just falling at your feet," Remus told him.  
  
James laughed, and a few girls swooned.  
  
"See what I mean?" Remus asked.  
  
"Ok, maybe it is to easy, but not Lily Evans, I mean, she's. Lily Evans, the only rep she has is for being an outcast who stays quiet, and doesn't date,"James answered.  
  
"Oh, come on, Prongs, be a sport. Just ask her," Sirius said.  
  
"You're not going to give up on this, are you?" James asked.  
  
"Not a chance," Sirius answered.  
  
"Ok, later, Snape just drank his pumpkin juice," James whispered.  
  
The boys turned to look at Snape, as his hair became a very strong shade of red and gold. His friends started pointing, and Snape ran out of the Great Hall a few seconds later.  
  
"Works every time," Sirius whispered.  
  
  
  
The Library was quiet. Lily sat with Chris at a table, tutoring her in Charms. There were only a few students, and then some girls started giggling very loudly.  
  
Lily and Chris looked up, slightly annoyed. Then they saw why. The Library was no longer nearly empy. James Potter had walked in, and with him his entourage of girls hoping to be his next girlfriend.  
  
"Good thing Liz isn't here," Lily whispered.  
  
Chris nodded in agreement.  
  
The Library had gone from quiet to Common Room loud. Lily rolled her eyes, and started packing away their books.  
  
"Come on, let's go somewhere else, it's too loud here," Lily said.  
  
The two stood to leave, when James spotted them. He swallowed hard, but didn't move. Sirius, who stood behind him, had to push him.  
  
"This is suicide," James whispered.  
  
"Have fun!" Sirius whispered back.  
  
The chatting and giggling girls stopped and watched James walk over to where Lily and Chris were standing, putting their books away.  
  
"What's he doing?"  
  
"Is he mad?"  
  
"Is he crazy? What does he think he's doing?"  
  
Sirius watched, a huge smile on his face. James kept walking until Lily and Chris's path was blocked to the door. Lily looked slightly annoyed.  
  
"Excuse me," she said.  
  
"Hey, Lily," James said, putting on the completely charming act that every girl fell for, he thought he'd need it.  
  
But Lily didn't bite. She just looked more annoyed.  
  
"I said excuse me. We have to go, and you are blocking our path," Lily told him, with Chris standing at her side.  
  
"Hey, Carla, Lily and I need to talk," James said.  
  
"Carla?" Chris asked in a small voice.  
  
"No, we don't need to talk. Excuse us, please," Lily told him, more annoyed then ever at James.  
  
By now every girl in the whole Library was either watching Lily and James, or being carried out on stretchers because they had swooned.  
  
"So, Lily, I heard your single," James said, ignoring Lily's comment.  
  
"You heard correctly," Lily said, nodding.  
  
"Well then, I'm single to so, I was wondering if. maybe we could hook- up, you know, like go on a few dates." James told her, but his voice trailed.  
  
The girls who were listening either swooned or made horrific looks on their faces. James didn't notice, and neither did Lily, but Chris did.  
  
"What the." she started.  
  
"Why?" Lily asked.  
  
"What do you mean, 'why'? Because I want you to go out with me, and you're not leaving here without saying yes," James added, smiling.  
  
By now three/fourths of the girls who had been in the Library had swooned.  
  
"Fine, I will. Come on, Chris, let's go do our work somewhere quiet," Lily said, putting a little bit more expression on Chris's name.  
  
Chris, who looked utterly amazed, followed Chris out of the room.  
  
"Did what I think happen just happen?" Chris asked as they made their way up to the Gryffindor tower.  
  
"Depends on what you think just happened," Lily answered.  
  
"I thought that James Potter, THE James Potter, just asked you, Lily Evans, out on a date," Chris said.  
  
"He did," Lily said.  
  
"And you told him yes, right?" Chris asked.  
  
"Yeah, and I can't believe how stupid I am," Lily answered, then smiled at her friends.  
  
"But you know what, maybe this can do James Potter some good, so that I can dump him before he can dump me," she added as an afterthought, then smiled.  
  
"What are you all smily about?" Liz asked when they walked in the dorm.  
  
"James Potter just asked her out, and she said yes," Chris told her, sitting down on her bed and getting out her Charms stuff.  
  
"THE GIT DID WHAT?" Liz yelled.  
  
"Oh my God, James Potter asked you out! That's wonderful!" Leslie cried, hugging Lily.  
  
"Lily, you should have said no! Now he's just going to dump you a few days later like he did the rest!" Liz said.  
  
"Liz, I only said yes so that I could get out of the Library. And I have a plan to shrink that huge ego he has, I'm going to dump him before he can dump me, so I can go away with my pride," Lily told her friend, grinning at the thought.  
  
"Oh, Lil, you are good," Liz said.  
  
Lily smiled, and started getting out her Charms book.  
  
"Come on, James is still out somewhere, so the Common Room ought to be quiet, let's go down there, it's warmer," Chris said.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes, but said, "OK."  
  
James returned a few minutes later. He walked over to his friends, and they all turned to him, and saw him smiling.  
  
"You didn't do it, did you?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Of course I did, Padfoot," James answered.  
  
"Then why are you smiling?" Sirius asked.  
  
"She said yes. James Potter's charm got to her, just like every other girl," James said, sitting down in his seat, his ego budging.  
  
"Wow, you are good," Sirius whispered.  
  
"Wait, let me get this straight. You asked Lily Evans out, and she said yes? Wow," Remus agreed, his eyes wide.  
  
"See, you should never doubt the powers of James Potter and his charm," James said, smiling at himself.  
  
Sirius sat up straighter, and started scanning the room until he spotted a table with four girls sitting around it. One of them looked up, angry. She saw James, and stood up.  
  
"Liz," Lily hissed.  
  
Liz stomped over to where James and his friends were sitting, in their "reserved" spot by the fire. She looked really angry.  
  
"What do you think you're playing at?" she spat at James.  
  
"What do you mean. Lisa?" James asked, trying to remember her name, in vain.  
  
Liz turned red, and not with embarassment, but anger. "My name is NOT Lisa, it's Liz. And Chris is not Carla, and Lily is not a stupid git, like you!"  
  
Ok, this was a rare thing to happen. James had never been yelled at like this, not even when he had blown up the bathroom in his house.  
  
"If you think you're going to make Lily just another trophy on your wall you got another thing coming," Liz yelled.  
  
By now Lily, Leslie, and Chris were laughing. Liz looked over at them, then shot one more glance at James, and left.  
  
"Liz, you know, I don't need you to fight my battles for me," Lily told her.  
  
"I just wanted to speak my mind," Liz answered, her face still red in anger. "One of these days his ego will explode and kill him, and I want to be in the front seat."  
  
"Don't worry, Liz, if I know you, you will be," Lily said, and laughed.  
  
  
  
The next day, everyone knew about Lily's transition from outcast to dating the most popular girl in school. Guys were giving her more looks in the hallways, and girls (who were jealous) were shooting her evil glances. Of course, this was an improvement, since before they had never noticed her (which is hard to do due to her red hair and green eyes).  
  
"What are they staring at? I mean, it's not like you just magically appeared," Liz sai, shooting an evil glance who was shooting daggers at them in the Library.  
  
"They're noticing her for once, because she's dating James Potter," Les answered.  
  
"Come on you guys, can we stop talking about my social life? It's getting weird," Lily asked her friends.  
  
"It sure is," Chris agreed as a few seventh year guys walked by and gave Lily a wave and smile.  
  
"Oh my gosh! Lil, those were SEVENTH YEARS! They, like, never look at a sixth year, let alone smile and wave!" Les cried.  
  
"You guys are seriously paranoid. They probably mistook me for someone else," Lily said, shaking her head.  
  
"Oh, come off it! You know they reckognized you! How could they not! I mean, you're the only one in the school with red hair and green eyes! It's hard not to reckognize you," Chris cried.  
  
"I know I'm against this whole Lily-James thing but even I have to admit that's a little, you know, weird in a good way. If James Potter asking you out wasn't the reason, I'd think this was really cool," Liz said.  
  
"I'm tired, I'm going to go back and get some sleep," Les whispered, and yawned.  
  
"I'll go with you," Liz volunteered.  
  
"Me too," Chris agreed.  
  
"I'll be there in a minute, I just want to finish these notes, 'kay?" Lily asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure," Les answered.  
  
Les, Liz, and Chris left the library, and Lily looked back down on her book, and started writing notes. She didn't notice anyone walk up until she heard the chair being pulled out. She looked up to find James taking a seat.  
  
"Hi, Lily," James said.  
  
"Hi, James. What are you doing here? Don't you have detention tonight with Professor McGonagall?" Lily asked.  
  
"Yeah, but I'll just tell her I forgot," James answered.  
  
"Oh, like she'll buy that. You must have fed her that excuse a hundred times," Lily told him.  
  
"So, anyway, how's it going?" James asked, trying to make conversation.  
  
"Fine," Lily answered.  
  
"You know, you're the only person in this school that doesn't fall on thier knees in front of me?" James asked, smiling at the thought.  
  
"Well, I'm not the only one. There's Liz, remember? And Snape?" Lily asked, and returned the smile.  
  
"Yeah," James replied, and the two started laughing.  
  
It must have surprised them both, because they cut off their laughing, and Lily went back to writing notes.  
  
"What are you doing, anyway?" James asked.  
  
"That Transfiguration essay," Lily answered.  
  
"That's not due for three more days," James said.  
  
"I know, but it took me forever to get that Transfiguration grade up that I don't want it to drop again, and it takes me three days just to write the essay," Lily told him.  
  
James laughed, and Lily joined in. But this time, they didn't stop themselves until they'd laughed a bit more.  
  
They talked for a while, on lots of different subjects.  
  
Sirius walked in to the Library, and saw the two sitting at a table. He grinned, and ran over to the table.  
  
"Hey, all!" he cried, and got a stern look from the librarian.  
  
"Hey, Sirius," James said.  
  
"Hello," Lily greeted, smiling.  
  
"Come on, James, we got to go do the. you know," Sirius said.  
  
"Oh, right. Listen, Lily, are you going to the Quidditch game on Saturday? Gryffindor's playing Slytherin," James told her.  
  
"I usually don't." Lily started.  
  
"Aw, come on, Lily! Everyone goes to the games! You have to! It's loads of fun! You and your friends can sit with us," Sirius said.  
  
"Ok," Lily agreed.  
  
"Great," James said.  
  
"James is the best Chaser Gryffindor's every seen," Sirius told her.  
  
"Come on, Padfoot, duty calls," James said.  
  
The boys told her goodbye, and walked towards the doorway. As James walked out of the door Lily thought, "He's kinda cute. OH MY GOSH, LILY, YOU DID NOT JUST CALL SOMEONE CUTE. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"  
  
She grabbed her stuff and ran up to the Gryffindor Tower.  
  
  
  
"You want us to WHAT?" Liz cried.  
  
"Go to the Quidditch game with me on Saturday, I promised I'd go. Sirius said he'd save us seats," Lily said.  
  
The four girls were in their dorm, and Lily had just gotten back.  
  
"But, Lil, you've never cared about Quidditch until now, you suddenly decide to go," Les pointed out.  
  
"I know! I don't know what came over me! I just found myself promising that I would, and I'm not one to back out on my promises. And I'll be so. you know. awkward without you, so you have to come with me," Lily cried.  
  
"We'll go, I guess," Chris said.  
  
"Thank you so much, you guys!" Lily cried.  
  
"I just want to know what came over you to actually accept an invitation to a Quidditch game. You don't even follow Quidditch!" Les cried.  
  
"I have no idea. One minute I was just standing there, talking, and then the next I was saying 'okay'. Its weird,"Lily said.  
  
"Yeah, definitely," Chris agreed.  
  
  
  
"Where have you two been?" Remus asked as Sirius and James walked into the empty classroom.  
  
"Library, Moony," Sirius answered.  
  
"The Library? Is there anything wrong with you two? Are you sure you aren't sick?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows.  
  
"I had to fetch Prongs here, who was talking to Lily Evans," Sirius explained.  
  
"Ah," Remus whispered. "You were talking to Lily Evans. I thought you didn't want to ask her out."  
  
"I didn't. It's just weird, she's different. She doesn't worship the ground I walk on," James said.  
  
"Prongs, old buddy, I know this is going to be a big shock to you, but not everyone worships you," Sirius said, patting James' back.  
  
"No, that's not what I mean. When we were talking she didn't stare googly eyed at me, she just talked like she was, well, she didn't worship me. And we could talk for a while, until Padfoot appeared. It was strange," James said.  
  
The boys held back a laugh.  
  
"What?" James asked, "You'd better tell me or I'll put dungbombs in your beds."  
  
"It sounds like old Prongs here is falling for Lily Evans," Sirius said.  
  
"WHAT?!?!" James cried. "I AM NOT!"  
  
"OK, you aren't then, Prongs. So anyway, we invited her and her friends to the Quidditch game on Saturday," Sirius said.  
  
"Wonderful, then they can meet me!" Remus said.  
  
  
  
Professor McGonagall stared across the room at the students. She noticed, with a note of surprise, that Lily Evans and her group, Elizabeth Breaker, Leslea Mann, and Christine Carter, had moved up from the table in the back of the room to one of the tables occupied with none other than James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.  
  
"Allright, class, quiet down," she called across the room.  
  
The class settled down, and she kept her eye on the table with the Potter boy. They were, however, well behaved throught the lesson. When class was over she hurried over to the teacher's lounge.  
  
"What is it, Minerva?" Professor Flitwick asked.  
  
"I was just in teaching my class, when I noticed that the Evans girl, and her friends were sitting with the Potter boy and his friends. I thought it was strange," McGonagall answered.  
  
"Ah, you obviously have not heard the rumors, then, have you?" Flitwick asked.  
  
"I don't pay attention to such things," McGonagall sniffed.  
  
"Well, the rumors say that James Potter asked Lily Evans out, and they are dating," Flitwick answered.  
  
"James Potter and Lily Evans. dating? But other than her being second in their class, I doubt they've ever heard of her," McGonagal protested.  
  
"Well, it seems they have heard of her," Flitwick replied.  
  
  
  
Lily, Liz, Les, and Chris watched as their social standing steadily rose. James and Lily talked a lot. James was surprised to learn that Lily knew next to nothing about Quidditch, and started telling her about it in preparation for the game. In turn, Lily, a muggle-born, told James, a pure- blood, about the muggle world. Their conversations lasted for a while. And, without their knowledge, they started to like each other more and more.  
  
On Friday night Lily walked into her dorm room where her friends were waiting.  
  
"Where've you been?" Liz asked.  
  
"Where do you think she's been? She's been in the same place every night for the past couple nights," Les answered.  
  
"Talking with James Potter," Chris replied.  
  
"You guys are so snoopy," Lily told them, grabbing her pajamas.  
  
"But it's true, admit it," Les said.  
  
"Yes, it's true. It's weird, we have a lot to talk about," Lily answered, smiling at her friends.  
  
"Admit it, Lily Evans is falling for James Potter. Everyone can see it," Chris said, walking across the room to where Lily stood.  
  
"Lily Evans, fall for a guy! Impossible! Lily here is known to turn down every guy that asks her out." Liz said.  
  
"Except James Potter," Chris cutted in.  
  
"I just said yes so that I could get out of the Library!" Lily cried.  
  
"Oh, sure," Les laughed.  
  
"You guys are still going with me to the game tomorrow, right?" Lily asked, changing the subject quickly.  
  
"'Course! What are friends for!" Les cried.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes and went into the bathroom.  
  
As she brushed her teeth she thought, "Could I actually be falling for James Potter? He is easy to talk to. NO! I am not falling for a guy! It is so not me! My friends are just weird, I'm not falling for James Potter. I'm just going out with him because he asked me and wouldn't let me leave until I said yes, that's all."  
  
Lily smiled, having convinced herself.  
  
  
  
James walked into his dorm room to find his friends gathered around Sirius' bed. He grinned, and walked over.  
  
"Prongs! How are you doing?" Sirius asked quickly, hiding something behind his back.  
  
Remus and Peter turned around quickly.  
  
"What are you three doing? Is is a plan of destruction of the Slytherins?" James asked, "You all know you aren't supposed to do that without me."  
  
"Don't worry, that's not it," Remus said, quickly.  
  
"Then what is it? And why are you three so jumpy?" James asked.  
  
"No reason, nothing at all," Sirius answered, putting on a very forced smile to reassure his friend.  
  
"So, were you out talking to Lily Evans again?" Remus asked, changing the subject.  
  
"Yeah, why?" James asked.  
  
"You just seem to spend a lot of time with her. That's something you've never done with any girl before," Remus answered.  
  
"We talk. She's easy to talk to, and can you believe she didn't know a thing about Quidditch until I told her?" James asked.  
  
"No, we had no idea," Remus said, nervously.  
  
James looked at them, and said, "Ok, spill, you guys."  
  
"What? Spill what? We have no possible idea what you're talking about, no idea," Sirius told James.  
  
"I know you are hiding something behind your back, and I want to know what it is. Come on, you guys, you've told me everything, and everything you don't tell me, I find out about," James said.  
  
"He has a point," Peter whispered.  
  
Sirius closed his eyes, and took a piece of parchment out from behind his back and handed it to James.  
  
"What is it?" James asked.  
  
"Um. Sirius kinda. drew a. um. picture of. you and Lily. with. um. your. kids," Remus said, and closed his eyes knowing the verbal assault that was coming.  
  
"YOU WHAT?" James yelled.  
  
"I thought it would be funny," Sirius protested.  
  
"Yeah, well, don't show tell anyone about this or you're parents will be planning a funeral," James told his friends, "I'm throwing this out."  
  
He went over to the trash can, and ripped up the drawing and threw it away.  
  
"I'm surprised you did that, Prongs," Sirius said.  
  
"Why would you be surprised I ripped up a very embarassing drawing?" James asked, turning to face his friends.  
  
"Isn't it obvious? You are so falling in love with that girl!" Sirius cried.  
  
"Me, fall in love with a girl? Padfoot, you're crazy," James answered, and went over to his bed.  
  
He couldn't shake the feeling that Sirius was right. Was he falling in love with that girl? Was he, James Potter, honestly and truly falling in love? It couldn't be. He was James Potter, he didn't fall in love, it just wasn't done. He shook his head. Sirius was so wrong.  
  
  
  
Lily, Liz, Les, and Chris walked down the grounds to the Quidditch Stadium. The stadium was packed, and Lily and her friends looked around for seats. Sirius waved madly at them from his seat. Remus and Peter sat next to him.  
  
"Hello, Sirius," Lily said.  
  
"Hello, Lily, Elizabeth, Leslea, Christine. I saved some seats for you," Sirius said, motioning to the seats on the other side of him.  
  
"Thanks, Sirius," Lily answered.  
  
"Your welcome. The teams will be coming out soon," Sirius told them, "James is one of the best chasers Hogwarts has ever seen. They say he's going to play for England when he graduates."  
  
"Really? My cousin wanted to play for England. He wasn't good enough, though," Liz said, frowning.  
  
"That's neat, huh, guys? Guys? Elizabeth here just said her cousin wanted to play for England," Sirius said, poking Remus and Peter.  
  
"Oh, what? That's great," Remus said.  
  
Peter echoed him.  
  
"You guys can call me Liz," Liz said.  
  
"You can call me Leslie," Les agreed.  
  
"And you can call me Chris, I hate my full name," Chris said.  
  
"Ok. Hey, look, the teams are coming onto the field," Sirius said, pointing to the two teams crossing the fields.  
  
Lily automaticly picked out James in the red and scarlet. Everyone was cheering, and waving. The players mounted their brooms, and flew off.  
  
Lily watched and listened through the game as James assured a Gryffindor victory, until their Seeker, Pinch, caught the snitch. A roar urupted from the Gryffindor side.  
  
"One more victory before the cup," Sirius said, "Come on, let's go congratulate James and the team on a victory well done!"  
  
Lily, Liz, Les, and Chris followed the boys down the seats to the field, were they ran over to James.  
  
"Jamesie boy! Another victory for Gryffindor, eh?" Sirius yelled, grinning and wrapping his arm around James' neck.  
  
He then started singing to himself a song he had made up on the spot about winning the House Cup. Lily, Liz, Les, and Chris watched him.  
  
"Ignore Sirius, he's rather. crazy at times," Remus told them.  
  
"Yeah, he likes to, you know, forget about everything else and go to his little dream world," James agreed, nodding.  
  
Sirius heard that, and punched James in the side.  
  
Everyone laughed.  
  
"We gotta go," Liz said.  
  
The girls turned to go back up to the castle when James called, "Lily! Same time tonight?"  
  
Lily turned around, and smiled, "Yeah, sure."  
  
The girls left and Sirius turned to James.  
  
"Oh my God, James, you are like so in love with her," Sirius said.  
  
"Padfoot, you need medicine, because I am not in love with Lily. I don't even like her. too much," James said.  
  
"Prongs, you are in denial! Huh, guys? Moony? Wormtail? Don't you agree?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Hey, leave us out of this. This is between you and Prongs," Remus said, taking a step back.  
  
Sirius shot him a dagger, and turned back to James.  
  
"Anyone can see it. The great James Potter, Quidditch Star, Future Head Boy, is falling in love with Lily Evans," Sirius said.  
  
"I am not!" James protested.  
  
"Fine, but you know what, by now with all of your other girlfriends you would be thinking up a unique way to dump them," Sirius said.  
  
"I am not in love with Lily, I am not!" James cried.  
  
  
  
But his feelings would be showed otherwise when he walked into the Common Room that night. Lily was sitting by the fire, where she always sits now. Her red ponytail was glowing and her green eyes dancing by firelight. James felt like he could melt.  
  
"OH MY GOD! I AM FALLING FOR LILY EVANS!" he screamed in his thoughts. "Sirius was right, they all were right. I, James Potter, am falling for a girl. I can't fall for a girl! It will ruin me!"  
  
He took a deap breath, "What should I do? I just can't let myself fall for someone. What should I do?"  
  
He knew the answer, break up with her. It was echoing in his head. But he didn't want to break up with Lily. He liked her. But he had to, to make sure he stopped caring for her.  
  
He took a step towards her. Lily turned around.  
  
"Hey, James, you're late," Lily said, standing up and walking over to him.  
  
He didn't look the same. He was red and looked confused.  
  
"What? What is it?" Lily asked.  
  
"Lily. I think we should. stop. seeing each other." James whipsered.  
  
"You mean you want to break- up with me?" Lily asked.  
  
James nodded.  
  
"Ok, I agree with you. We should," Lily agreed, smiling at him.  
  
"Ok, then," James said.  
  
Lily echoed him.  
  
"Well, I guess." James started.  
  
"Bye," Lily finished, and smiled at him.  
  
She turned and walked upstairs to her dorm. Her friends noticed something was wrong right away, mainly because Lily never came in this early.  
  
"Lils? What's wrong?" Liz asked.  
  
"James broke up with me," Lily answered, sitting down on her bed.  
  
Her friends exchanged glances, and Liz turned red.  
  
"I'm gonna get him, yes I am," Liz whispered.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, up in the boys dorm, James walked in, looking very defeated, and suprising his friends, because James never looked this way after a Quidditch game.  
  
"Hey, James, why aren't you smiling? You just won!" Sirius cried.  
  
"I just broke up with Lily," James answered.  
  
Silence fell over the room.  
  
"Oh," Sirius whispered.  
  
"You've never been like this after you break up with somebody," Peter annoucned, before getting nudged by Remus.  
  
"Sorry," Remus said.  
  
"You guys, you are acting like I just lost my parents! I must be losing my touch, she didn't even cry," James said.  
  
"You'll be the one crying when that one girl gets her hands on you. Liz, I think," Sirius said, trying to think.  
  
"Sirius, stop trying to think, it will never work," Remus said.  
  
The boys started laughing, lifting spirits in the room. James went over to his bed, and got a strange feeling inside of him, a kind of achy feeling, and he didn't know why.  
  
"Sorry, Lily," he whispered, and got into bed.  
  
Author's Notes- How did you like part one of two parts of this story? TELL ME! I really want to know. I wrote this to try and break my writers block and think of idea for Lily's Lake (you know how hard it is to write certain parts!). So, tell me how you liked it, and go read part two!  
  
Any additional comments, contact me at tiff637@yahoo.com or starlighteve88@aol.com 


	2. Part 2- Love Isn't Always Easy

Author's Notes- hey all! This is part two of "Am I missing you" (very bad title, I know, but I told you, I have writers block for the time being, though, I must say this is my best case of it). It's in their 7th year, so, just read it and tell me what u think! Thanks!  
  
Disclamer- I own absolutely positively nothing! It all belongs to the wonderful Harry Potter people ~*drops to knees and yells, "Hail all the Harry Potter people!"*~ I'm not getting paid.  
  
1 Am I Missing You?  
  
1.1 Love Isn't Always Easy…  
  
  
  
Lily Evans sat on the Hogwarts Express. Her friends were playing a game, and she stared out the window, fingering her hair. She had spent most of the summer in New York City with her mom's cousin, and her kids. Petunia hadn't been to thrilled, and neither had been Lily, until she met Claire. Claire was her mom's cousin's daughter. Claire was so much like Lily, and very fashion coordinated. She had given Lily a makeover, a complete makeover. Lily, who used to wear her hair in a tight ponytail, now wore her dark red hair long and around her shoulders. Her friends had all commented nicely, and Les had expressed her great love for Lily's new look.  
  
Lily, however, was in a very depressed mood. She had been for quite sometime. She didn't know why, and she couldn't get over it. Something had just clicked inside of her, and Lily had just been like this since. Even a summer with Claire didn't lift her spirits (how could it, with Petunia around?).  
  
Lily could see her reflection in the window. She could barely even reckognized herself, the 6th year that had the second highest average, and was invisible to most other students. Now she was a 7th year, Head Girl, and no longer invisible. They weren't exactly in the "in" crowd, but they were reckognized, and Lily, Liz, Les, and Chris didn't care, especially Lily.  
  
  
  
"Padfoot, we've heard time and time again about your summer. Can someone else please tell us something else?" Remus asked.  
  
James Potter sat with his friends on the Hogwarts Express, silent. Sirius was telling everyone all about his summer.  
  
"Prongs, what did you do this summer?" Remus asked.  
  
"Huh?" James said, turning to look at his friends.  
  
"He's doing it again," Sirius whispered.  
  
"Doing what again?" James asked.  
  
"Spacing out on us. You've been super-depressed for a while. What is it?" Remus asked.  
  
"Its nothing, you guys are paranoid," James answered.  
  
"I know what it is," Sirius said in a singsong voice, "Think about it you guys. When did this depressed behavior start? Right after he broke up with Lily Evans. Did you notice he stayed single for three weeks after, and then started dating again, but he was still like this," Sirius said.  
  
Remus and Peter grinned, and looked at James.  
  
"I said it before, and I'll say it again, you guys are paranoid," James whispered, while secretly asking himself, "Sirius is wrong, I'm not missing Lily. Am I?  
  
James was still pondering this question when the feast ended. Dumbledore stood and made his usual announcements, and then announced the Head Boy and Girl.  
  
"And our Head Boy this year is James Potter!" Dumbledore said.  
  
James stood and smiled at everyone. He quickly took his seat and stared down at his plate, perfectly spotless.  
  
"And our Head Girl is Lily Evans!"  
  
"Hey, cool, Lily's Head…" Remus started, but stopped.  
  
Peter's mouth dropped open and Sirius started stuttering, as did many of the other guys around them (except from the Slytherin Table).  
  
"What?" James asked, noticing his friends' strange behavior.  
  
"Li… Lily… lo… oks… diff…erent…" Sirius stuttered.  
  
James looked over. Lily had just stood up at her name, and was smiling at everyone. She did look different. Her dark red hair, once kept in a ponytail, was now falling around her shoulders, slightly wavy at the ends. She had grown into her big, bright green eyes, and she was most definetly more pretty than she was before.  
  
"I guess someone did something useful over the summer, unlike Padfoot here," Remus whispered, and ducked a blow from Sirius.  
  
Meanwhile, at the end of the table Lily sat with Liz, Les, and Chris.  
  
"Hey, Lils, I think you have a few admirers," Chris whispered.  
  
"A few? More like half the male population of Hogwarts!" Les whispered, nudging Lily.  
  
"No wonder," Liz said, "With that new look of yours. I'd say you surpased Rachel Weaver."  
  
"You guys are paranoid," Lily answered, dully.  
  
"Us, paranoid? Oh, no, wait, you meant those guys," Les said, motioning to all the guys staring at Lily.  
  
"You did a complete make-over of the summer, Lil, how can you not expect them to look? I bet you that right now you could have picks on any guy in this whole school," Chris asked.  
  
Lily just shrugged and looked at her clean plate.  
  
"Hey, Lil, what's wrong? Why are you so depressed all of a sudden? Hey, we're seventh years! Your Head Girl! And your getting glances from everyone! There is nothing to be depressed about!" Les cried.  
  
"Yeah, even that dungbomb of a guy, James Potty's looking at you," Liz said. "And he broke up with you! Talk about regretting…"  
  
Les and Chris suddenly leaned backward to see, and did indeed see James Potter with his eyes looking in their direction. He quickly looked back to his friends. Les and Chris returned to the table giggling.  
  
"He was!" Chris giggled.  
  
"I know I said it before but you guys need serious mental help. I wonder if Mungo's Hospital takes people with mental problems…" Lily said, and smiled.  
  
"Don't you dare. I have to be around to kick Potter in the behind! I didn't get to do it last year," Liz cried.  
  
"For good reason," Les added.  
  
Liz glared at Les, and answered, "Yeah, because you wouldn't LET me!"  
  
"Like I said, for good reason. You didn't need another detention. You already had three for blowing up his cauldron," Les said.  
  
"I didn't meant to blow up his cauldron!" Liz protested.  
  
"Yeah, right," Chris said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"I didn't! I meant to blow up the desk, that way some wood could have hit him in the face, and he could have been knocked out. The cauldron was a bonus, 'cuz that's made of metal. Too bad it missed him…" Liz whispered.  
  
"And hit Professor Crader!" Chris cried.  
  
Even Lily laughed at the rememberance.  
  
"Haha! We got her laughing!" Les announced.  
  
"Come on, let's get up to the dorm, I need some sleep," Lily said.  
  
  
  
The next day Lily and co. sat in Charms, in their second row seats. Lily, however, was unaware of the many MANY eyes on her. Among those eyes, where James'.  
  
"Prongs, will you please do something? McGonagall's going to take away your Head Boy badge if you don't, and probably give it to Snape," Remus said.  
  
"Snape, ugh," Sirius whispered, sticking his tounge out.  
  
"What? Sorry, can you repeat that, I didn't hear what you said," James said, turning to his friends.  
  
"I said you'd better get working or McGonagall will take away your badge and give it to Snape," Remus replied.  
  
"And I said 'Snape, ugh,'" Sirius answered, then paused, and added, "Were you staring at Lily Evans again?"  
  
"No," James answered… a little too quickly.  
  
Sirius, Remus, and Peter snickered.  
  
"Listen, if you still like her just TELL HER!" Sirius whispered.  
  
"Sirius, quiet is important," James whispered.  
  
"Just tell her you like her and then you'll be out of this mode you're in," Sirius said.  
  
"I don't like her though," James replied.  
  
"Sure, you don't," Sirius said and rolled his eyes.  
  
"I DON'T," James hissed, "Now let's get working."  
  
"You still like her, you still like her, you still like her," Sirius sung under his breath, then started howling in pain as James put his foot down on Sirius'.  
  
"That's what you get," James whispered.  
  
"Mr. Black! What is the problem?" McGonagall cried, running over.  
  
  
  
At lunch Lily was dealing with her own friend problems.  
  
"Lily, there are tons of people looking at you," Les whispered.  
  
"Like who?" Lily asked.  
  
"Um… Nathan Spindell, Alex Crater, Chris Tenner…" Liz said, and kept saying names, until Lily interuppted her.  
  
"Is James?" Lily asked, quietly.  
  
Liz and Les turned to look at her, surprised, but Chris looked around, and spotted James Potter, his eyes fixed on Lily. She grinned, and quickly turned her head.  
  
"I can't believe even thought about that guy! Lils, he's a big, huge, slimeball! He dumped you, and you're starting to get Potter fever!" Liz cried.  
  
Chris rolled her eyes and said, "Lily, do you really want to know?"  
  
Lily nodded.  
  
"He was."  
  
"He was?" Lily asked, unsure.  
  
"He was!" Les cried, happy.  
  
"HE WAS????" Liz cried, really unhappy. "THE SLIMEBALL! Ooooo… I'M SO GONNA GET HIM!"  
  
"Liz, get a hold of yourself," Les cried, shaking Liz's shoulders.  
  
"Why did you want to know, Lily?" Chris asked.  
  
"Just wondering," Lily answered.  
  
"You still like him, don't you?" Les asked.  
  
"She'd better not, the git!" Liz cried.  
  
"Liz, we're asking Lils, not you," Chris said.  
  
"Lily, do you still like him?" Les asked.  
  
"I don't know," Lily answered in a whisper, staring up at the ceiling.  
  
"You do, don't you? You still like him," Chris said.  
  
"I might, I don't know," Lily replied, shrugging.  
  
"Well, you have to tell him," Les said, looking at Lily like the answer to her problem was obvious.  
  
"No, because I don't know. And how would it look if I went over to him saying I still like him? I'd look like one of his old girlfriends," Lily answered.  
  
"She has a point," Chris said.  
  
"A good one, too," Les agreed.  
  
"Besides, I told you three before, I don't know if I even like him! So, let's just leave the subject alone, 'kay?" Lily asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure," Les said.  
  
"Perfectly fine with me!" Liz agreed.  
  
"Sure," Chris whispered.  
  
"So, it's agreed then?" Lily asked.  
  
"So long as you tell us if something changes, like if you find out you do still like him, or something like that," Chris answered.  
  
"I think I can deal with that," Lily said, and smiled at her friends.  
  
  
  
Days passed at Hogwarts. Each day was the same as before. James kept staring at Lily when she wasn't looking, and Lily stared at James when he wasn't looking. It was an amusing game to their friends. Even Liz thought it was funny (which definetley said something).  
  
One evening in the Gryffindor Common Room Liz, Les, and Chris (Lily was up in her room) were sitting alone. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew walked into the Common Room, obviously pleased with themselves, and spotted the three girls, and walked over.  
  
"What do you want?" Liz asked, without looking up from her homework.  
  
"Hey, Lisa, Leah, and Carla," Sirius said.  
  
Les and Chris burst out laughing, and Liz raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Those aren't your names, I'm guessing," Remus said.  
  
"No, they're not," Liz answered lamely.  
  
"Okay, then," Sirius said, dragging out the "kay". "What are your names then, if they aren't Lisa, Leah, and Carla."  
  
"Try Liz, Leslie, and Chris," Liz answered hotly.  
  
"Okay, Liz, Leslie, and Chris, where's Lily?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Why do you want to know? Or better yet, why do you care? Since, afterall, your best friend dumped her!" Liz cried.  
  
"Whoa! Down doggie, down!" Remus cried, backing off.  
  
"We want to know because we want to talk to her," Sirius told her.  
  
"About what?" Liz asked.  
  
"Ok, are you sure you're name isn't Lily, because I want to talk to Lily, not her friend Liz?" Sirius asked.  
  
"She's one of my best friends. Whatever you want to talk to her about I can hear to, and so can Leslie and Chris," Liz answered.  
  
"Yeah, so tell us and then you can talk to Lily," Chris said.  
  
"Okay, we wanted to ask her if she still likes James," Remus said.  
  
Sirius hit him in the stomach, and Remus ducked out with a muffled, "Sorry."  
  
"Why do you want to know?" Les asked, raising her eyebrow in curiousity.  
  
"Because we think James still likes her," Sirius answered.  
  
"He does?" Les and Chris chorused, then were glared into silence by Liz.  
  
"You think he does? Isn't that just… strange," Liz said.  
  
"Why is it just… strange?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Take a wild guess," Les said, and then was glared into silence AGAIN by Liz.  
  
"You mean you think Lily still likes James! Boo yeah!" Sirius cried, grinning (swooning girls) and obviously very happy with himself.  
  
"We didn't say that!" Chris said quickly.  
  
"Yeah, but it's true, isn't it? Come on, it's true. Lily still likes James," Sirius said, still grinning.  
  
"Wait a minute. You said earlier that you think James still likes Lily. And let me guess, you're trying to put them back together, am I right?" Les asked, and smiled at her friends.  
  
"We might be," Remus said, then ducked out before Sirius could hit him in the stomache again.  
  
"Lily needs to get out of her depressed mood, and I think James Potter just might be the way to get her out," Les whispered to Chris and Liz.  
  
Chris nodded, and Liz was horrified.  
  
"Wait a minute, if James still liked Lily why did he dump her?" Liz asked, horrified.  
  
"How should we know. Haven't you noticed he's always staring at Lily when she's not looking and…" Sirius started.  
  
"And Lily's always staring at James when he's not looking. Yeah, we've noticed," Liz interuppted, annoyed.  
  
"Liz, come on, this just might be what Lily needs," Chris said.  
  
"So, do you want to help us?" Sirius asked.  
  
"What do we have to do?" Liz asked, finally giving in and taking their offer to help them put Lily Evans and James Potter back together.  
  
"First, get her to go to the Quidditch game, okay?" Sirius asked. "All four of you will be sitting with us. We'll take it from there."  
  
"Great. See you then," Chris answered, quickly.  
  
The boys grinned, and left. Liz turned to Chris and Les, angry.  
  
"What makes you think Lil will even want to go to the Quidditch game?" Liz asked, glaring at them, "And since when do you two converse easily with Potty's gang?"  
  
"Oh, come of it, Liz. Potter can't be all that bad if he likes Lil," Les said.  
  
"But still…" Liz started.  
  
"Liz, think about it, what is the worst that can happen? He can't dump her again, because he still likes her, and dumping her would be a major mistake, and I'm almost sure Lily can handle it. She did last time," Chris said.  
  
"Yeah. She's the only girl that didn't cry when Potter broke up with her," Les said.  
  
"I still think this is a bad idea," Liz whispered.  
  
"You still think what is a bad idea?" a voice asked from behind them.  
  
The three girls jumped and turned around to see Lily standing behind them, curious and wearing a frown.  
  
"Les and Chris want to go to the Quidditch game, and I told them I'd go, but we didn't know if you wanted to, and I said it was a bad idea," Liz said, quickly.  
  
"Right…"Lily answered.  
  
"Come on, Lil, it will be fun. Besides, we haven't been to a game in ages. Please? Pretty please, with whip cream and a cherry on top?" Les asked.  
  
"I don't like cherries," Lily said.  
  
"Fine then, with anyting on top," Les said, and pouted.  
  
"Fine, I'll go. But it better be worth it," Lily said, then added, "I came down here to ask when you're coming up. So I'll see you upstairs, 'kay?"  
  
They nodded.  
  
"And don't worry, the game will be real interesting," Chris called after her.  
  
  
  
James Potter looked out of door leading to the field, watching people come in and out. His team-mate, Jake, stood with him.  
  
"Wow, even Dumbledore's coming," Jake said, looking to where the headmaster was taking his seat.  
  
"Yeah, a lot of people are coming," James agreed, rather lamely.  
  
"Hey, look, it's Lily Evans!" Jake said, pointing to the red head that was Lily Evans, as she walked into the stadium with her friends.  
  
James emmediatly got the feeling again.  
  
"She's really hot now, don't you think? She was pretty before, but now… whoa," Jake said, grinning.  
  
James nodded a little.  
  
"You used to go out with her, right? And then you dumped her. Man, you must be sorry you did that. I mean, look at her now," Jakes said.  
  
But James was not really listening to Jake. He was watching Lily. She smiled and laughed at her friends, as they dragged her by the wrist to the seats.  
  
He thought about what his friends said, that he missed her, and still liked her. And he knew the truth, too. He did still like her, and he did make a mistake by breaking up with her. And he regretted it.  
  
  
  
"I don't know how I let you talk me into this," Lily told her friends as they led her across the stadium to the bleachers.  
  
"Oh, admit it allready. You're glad you came. You know it, and we know it," Les said.  
  
"I would much rather be doing my homework. I don't know why I said I'd come," Lily toled them again.  
  
Her friends laughed. Sirius, Remus, and Peter, who were sitting in one of the top bleachers, waved down at them. Sirius jumped up and ran down.  
  
"Hey, girls," he said.  
  
Lily stared.  
  
"So, are you coming or not?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Coming where?"  
  
"To sit with us, 'course!" Sirius laughed, and led them to their seats.  
  
Lily took the chance to turn around and glare at her friends, gracing them each with their own separate glare.  
  
"What are you three up to?" Lily asked.  
  
"Nothing!"  
  
"Why would you suspect little old us?"  
  
"It was their idea!"  
  
Sirius had turned around and called for them. Lily made the slit-your- neck move with her hand and followed them up the bleachers. They sat down just in front of Sirius, Remus and Peter.  
  
"So, Lily, how've you been?" Remus asked.  
  
"Fine," Lily answered, lamely.  
  
There was a whistle blown, and the two teams (Gryffindor against Slytherin) came out onto the field. Everyone clapped, even Lily, or cheered.  
  
James could see Lily up in the stands, clapping like everyone else. He tried to concentrate on the game, but he couldn't.  
  
"Potter, what's wrong with you?" Jake yelled, flying past him.  
  
James didn't answer. He shook his head and sped forward towards the other Chasers.  
  
  
  
At the end of the game (a Gryffindor victory, to be sure) everyone left the stands. Liz, Les, Chris, and Lily were invited to walk back to the common room with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and they accepted.  
  
"Let's just wait for James, he should be out soon," Sirius said.  
  
And, sure to Sirius' words, James met them outside a moment later.  
  
"Great game," everyone said (except Liz).  
  
"Thanks," James answered.  
  
His eyes caught Lily's, but she looked away and walked over to talk to Liz. He sighed, and knew he had to get to talk to Lily, alone. His feet moved quicker to catch up with her, and even he was shocked at what he was doing.  
  
Soon, he was beside Lily and Liz. Both girls stared at him.  
  
"Hey, Lily, Liz," he said.  
  
The two girls nodded in greeting. James was silent, unsure of what to say. Finally, he said, "Lily, can we talk?"  
  
Liz shot him a murderous look.  
  
"What about?" Lily asked.  
  
"Let me rephrase that. Can we talk, ALONE?" James asked, countering and stressing the "alone".  
  
Liz shot him a look that clearly said, "You little twit. How dare you?" But she kept silent, and turned to Lily.  
  
James was also waiting for Lily's answer.  
  
"Sure."  
  
VICTORY!  
  
Once inside James and Lily walked away from the crowd and Liz (very angry) fell back to walk with Sirius, Remus, Peter, Les, and Chris.  
  
"Where's James and Lily going?" Sirius asked.  
  
"James asked to talk to Lily and she agreed. They're going to talk. I don't believe it. I won't believe it! Lily is being so naïve!" Liz cried, "This is sheer madness."  
  
"Whoa, slow down! Lily and James are alone, right now?" Sirius asked.  
  
Liz shrugged, and answered, "Guess so. Why?"  
  
"Yes! Boo yeah! We did it!"  
  
"Did what?" Liz asked.  
  
"Put them back together," Remus answered.  
  
"This doesn't mean that they're getting back together. It just means they're talking, which is a good sign. But there's still a lot of stuff to do before they can acutally get back together," Les said.  
  
"Quiet! Don't ruin my good mood!" Sirius snapped, and started dancing around the hallway.  
  
"Come on, let's go. You still have some stealing from the kitchens to do," Chis said.  
  
  
  
Lily's mind was scolding herself, calling herself names. "Nitwit! Twit! Stupid! Dumb! How could you have actually agreed to go and 'talk' with James Potter?"  
  
Lily followed James down a hallway. She looked at his back, and then shut her eyes tight. "I shouldn't have done this."  
  
James led her into an empty classroom, and she stood in front of him, her arms crossed.  
  
"What did you want to talk about that you couldn't talk about in front of my friends?" she asked, a bit annoyed with herself.  
  
"Listen, Lily, I'm sorry," James said.  
  
"Sorry for what?" she asked.  
  
"For what I did last year, for… you know…" James let his voice trail.  
  
"No, I don't know. Can you please tell me?" Lily asked, annoyed with not only herself now, but him as well.  
  
James sighed. She wasn't making this easy. Not that he'd expected her to. Not after what he did to her.  
  
"You know…" James said.  
  
"Wait a minute, is James Potter apologizing for dumping me? Is THE James Potter apologizing for dumping me?" Lily asked, then added, "I wish I had a camera. This is a moment that will go down in history!"  
  
James was silent. He hated being in this weak position.  
  
"Why don't you go apologize to the other girls whose hearts you broke," Lily said, "Then you can come back to me. Because, really, I don't care what you did."  
  
James wanted to scream. Why couldn't he tell her how he felt? Why was she making this so hard? All he wanted to do was make up with her, and go back to the way they had been before he had dumped her. But it hurt him about what she said, that she didn't care that he had dumped her.  
  
"Liz was right. You are a git," Lily said, then turned to leave.  
  
"Lily, wait," James said, and grabbed her arm.  
  
"Let go of me. I want to go back," Lily said.  
  
"Not until you listen to me," James answered, and gripped her harder.  
  
"Listen to you do what? Apologize? Cuz frankly, I'm not in the mood for apologies," Lily told him.  
  
"I'm sorry for what I did last year, and if I could go back in time and stop myself from doing that, I would," James said, finally happy that he had gotten in out.  
  
"Then why did you dump me in the first place?" Lily asked, then added, "Is it because I look different now? Is it because I changed, and I'm getting looks from other guys?"  
  
"No!" James answered.  
  
"Then what is it? Why did you dump me?" Lily whispered, fighting back tears.  
  
"I don't know!" James finally said, then added, "Why did you let me?"  
  
"What do you mean, why did I let you dump me? It's not like I had a choice, I wasn't about to fall at your feet and ask for forgiveness, I'm not that kind of person. Because, I don't know what I did wrong," Lily said.  
  
"Neither do I!" James yelled.  
  
"Then tell me this, why did you dump me? If you regret it so much, why did you do it in the first place?" Lily asked.  
  
"I told you before, I don't know," James yelled, frustrated.  
  
"Then maybe you should find out before you talk to me again," Lily whispered, turned, and left the room.  
  
(A/N- I know plenty of you want them to get back together, and they will, just not right now.)  
  
  
  
Lily was able to choke back the tears she had been hiding in the classroom, but not for long. When she reached the hallway, she started crying, hard. She ran through the halls, her vision blurring. Why had she gone with him into that room? Why, why, why? She made it to the Common Room, and found that the whole house was partying, not noticing the absence of James and her. She pushed her way to the girl's dormitory. Liz, Les, and Chris had been standing with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, celebrating their victory of putting Lily and James back together, when they say Lily.  
  
"Oh no," Les whispered.  
  
"This can't be good," Chris whispered.  
  
"Now what did he do?" Liz asked.  
  
"We gotta go," Les said to the boys, and the girls ran up the stairs to their room, where they found Lily on her bed, crying.  
  
"Lils, what's wrong?" Chris asked.  
  
"What do you mean, 'What's wrong'? Isn't it obvious? Potter did something to her," Liz said.  
  
Lily sobbed harder.  
  
"Lils, come on, tell us, what's wrong?" Les asked, and sat down next to Lily on her bed.  
  
Lily sobbed and choked out what happened between her and James in the empty classroom just moments before.  
  
"Told you it was Potter. Don't worry, Lily, I told you he was a slimefaced git," Liz said.  
  
Lily sobbed harder and harder.  
  
"Liz, you're not making this any easier," Les said, hugging Lily.  
  
"Lils, I'm sorry," Liz said, and left the room to go back down to the Common Room and tell Sirius, Remus, and Peter that their best friend had just broken her best friend's heart… again.  
  
"I'm so stupid. I never should have gone with him. I never should have said I'd go out with him in the first place," Lily cried, angrily.  
  
"Lily, you did the right thing by saying yes. It's obvious you still like him. If you didn't you wouldn't be crying right now," Chris whispered.  
  
"I'm going to bed, I'm tired," Lily whispered, tired of the conversation.  
  
Her friends nodded.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile Liz went down the stairs, slowly, and scanned the crowd. She saw James standing by the door, and turned red with anger. She ran down the stairs, and pushed through the crowd. She passed Sirius, Reums, and Peter, who, noticing her anger, followed her. Without saying a word she ran up to James and pushed him into the wall.  
  
"JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??" she yelled.  
  
The Common Room went quiet. Everyone turned to see Elizabeth Breaker (a hardly reckognized person), yelling and screaming at James Potter (who was only THE most popular boy in Hogwarts). Even Sirius, Remus, and Peter were in shock.  
  
"Liz, what's going on?" Sirius asked.  
  
"James just made Lily cry," Liz answered, shorly, still glaring at James.  
  
Sirius, Remus, and Peter were shocked. Sure, James had made girls cry before, because he broke up with them. But all three of them knew James really liked Lily, and they also knew Lily, and they thought she was nice.  
  
James didn't deny it. The whole Common Room had frozen, not believeing what they saw. James Potter was in a position of weakness.  
  
He stood, and looked at Liz. He turned, and walked up to his room. Sirius, Remus, and Peter followed him. Liz turned to look at everybody in the Common Room who was watching her.  
  
"What? Go back to doing what you were doing! What do you think this is, the movies?" she asked, and went up to her dorm.  
  
  
  
A week went past. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Liz, Les, and Chris, who had momentarily celebrated putting their friends back together now watched helplessly as the two went back to the old game, "stare-at-the-other-when- they-aren't-looking". Except this time they had a difference in their eyes. Confusion, maybe. They weren't really sure. Liz spent her days wisely, trying to make James' life as miserable as possible. Any moment she could manage to call him a name, she did, and it was mostly "git" or even the occasional "butthead".  
  
Girls were, of course, throwing evil looks at Liz, and trying to get James to go out with them, for, yes, he stayed single.  
  
Liz, Les, and Chris felt very saddened by this. They weren't back where they started, they were much further behind.  
  
"Ok, let's see. James…" Les said as she, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Liz, and Chris sat in the nearly empty Library one day.  
  
Liz coughed, glaring at Les.  
  
"Ok, fine, POTTER apologizes to Lily, and they start argueing because Lily wants to know why he broke up with her, and he says he doesn't know. They fight for a little while longer, and then Lily leaves, and starts crying," Les said.  
  
"And then Lily comes back, goes up to her room, cries some more, and James…" Sirius started.  
  
"AHEM," Liz coughed again.  
  
"I'm calling him James because he's my best friend, ELIZABETH," Sirius said, stressing Liz's real name.  
  
"Don't you call me that again!" Liz cried.  
  
Sirius and Liz started shooting daggers at each other.  
  
"You guys, stay on track! JAMES POTTER comes into the Common Room. Liz sees him, corners him, and holds a little scene that caused most of the girls in this school to hate her. Lily and James go back to the old 'stare- at-the-other-when-they-aren't-looking' game. And here we are," Remus said.  
  
"So what are we supposed to do? Lily won't talk to James, she acts like she hates him but she doesn't. James still likes Lily, as always, but thinks Lily hates him," Chris said.  
  
Liz suddenly stopped shooting daggers at Sirius, and grinned.  
  
"I have an idea," she whispered.  
  
"What?"Les asked.  
  
Liz told them. Sirius stopped glaring at Liz, and grinned just like her.  
  
"Pretty good," he told her, then quickly added, "For you, I mean."  
  
"Sirius, for once, shut up. Liz here has an idea that just might work," Remus said.  
  
  
  
Lily followed her friends, annoyed.  
  
"Why must we make this late night trip to the Library?" she asked, "None of you have ever had any intrest in these before!"  
  
"Chris left her book there," Liz answered shortly.  
  
"Then she can get it tomorrow! And why do we all have to go?" Lily asked.  
  
"Because Chris is afraid of being in the hallways at night," Les answered.  
  
Chris glared at Les, who gave her a pleading look. Chris nodded at Lily, and said, "I am."  
  
"Then one of us could have gone with you, not all THREE!" Lily said, "Besides, if we're caught we'll be in detention for the rest of our lives."  
  
"No, we won't," Chris said, "Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James… ("AHEM")… Potter, had gotten caught tons of times, and they aren't still in detention."  
  
"Besides, we won't get caught," Liz said.  
  
Lily glanced around and her head shot up.  
  
"Guys, this isn't the way to the Library," she whispered.  
  
"It's not?" Les asked, easily fooling Lily.  
  
"No, Lily's right. We must have made a wrong turn or something. Dang, these Hogwarts hallways!" Liz cried, acting as if she didn't know where they were.  
  
But she did. It was all part of the plan.  
  
"Let's all go a different way, and see where we are. Maybe one of us will reckognize something," Chris said.  
  
"Ok. I'll take that hallway, Les, you take that door, Chris, you take that hallway, and Lil, you take that door," Liz said.  
  
"Ok," the girls said, and seperated.  
  
Lily walked down the hall towards the door.  
  
  
  
James cursed himself, looking around the room. He obviously wasn't the place where Sirius told him to go.  
  
"Sirius, what did you get me into to?" he asked.  
  
It was, of course, all Sirius' fault he was lost (which is very rare since, afterall, he is one of the top pranksters of Hogwarts, and knew basically every place in the school). Sirius, deciding to be funny, had taken James' broom, the broom his father gave him just a week before he was killed by Voldemort. James hadn't found it funny, and had forced Sirius to tell him where it was. Sirius gave him directions to the room, and James had left the Common Room at night, under his Invisibility Cloak, and went to find it. Now James was really mad. Without his knowledge his Invisibility Cloak had slipped off in some hallway, probably snagged on a statue, and he was lost.  
  
The room was small, empty, and had no windows.  
  
James paused, thinking he heard voices and footsteps. He cursed silently, he would probably be found by a teacher and given another week of detention, on top of the four weeks he already had.  
  
But it wasn't a professor's voice.  
  
Lily turned the knob and opened the door. It was a empty room, not a hallway as she expected. She walked in, seeing if there was another door. But she didn't find another door.  
  
James Potter stood in one side of the room, looking at her.  
  
Lily looked annoyed. She sighed and said, "This is like the nightmare that wouldn't end."  
  
She turned around to walk out of the room when the door shut in her face. She turned the knob. It was locked.  
  
"Dang it!"  
  
"Lily, what are you doing here?" James asked.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Lily countered.  
  
"I asked you first," James said.  
  
"Is there another door?" Lily asked, changing the subject, "This one is locked."  
  
"No, I don't thinks so," James answered, then added, "Are you sure it's locked?"  
  
"What, do you think I'm braindead as well as stupid? Of course it's locked!" Lily hissed.  
  
James crossed the room and tried the door. She was right, it was locked. Lily glared at him, and he turned to face her.  
  
"Looks like we're locked in," he said.  
  
"Oh, great! Just great! I'm locked in a room with James Potter. How could this possibly get worse?" she asked.  
  
"Easy," James said.  
  
Lily glared at him.  
  
"Well, a Professor could find us," James whispered.  
  
"That's not worse. That's better. I'd prefer at detention over this," Lily answered, and sat down, leaning against the wall.  
  
"The detention would probably be with me," James replied, and shrugged.  
  
Lily moaned.  
  
"Don't talk to me and you just might survive this," she said, then added, "I said might. I'm not promising anything."  
  
James shrugged, and sat down opposite the room from her.  
  
"I'm going to kill my friends for this," Lily whispered.  
  
"And I'm going to kill Sirius," James agreed.  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
"Wait a minute. Why would you kill your friends?" James asked.  
  
"They dragged me to the Library, but got us lost and told me to look down here. They should have noticed I'm gone by now," Lily answered.  
  
"And Sirius sent me here. I think we've been tricked," James said.  
  
"Ok, now they are going to be killed," Lily said, "But they've managed it, and knowing them they won't let us out until we've done whatever they want."  
  
  
  
"Boy is she right," Les whispered, grinning.  
  
Liz, Les, and Chris stood on the other side of the door, listening to the conversation. Meanwhile, Sirius, Remus, and Peter ran down the hallway. Peter and Remus were out of breath, but Sirius looked like he was throughly enjoying himself.  
  
"Sorry we're late. Sirius here tripped and knocked a spear onto the ground. Barely escaped McGonagall," Remus said.  
  
"It's allright," the girls replied.  
  
"Do you have it?" Liz asked.  
  
"You mean this?" Sirius asked, holding up a silver cloak…aka James Potter's invisibilty cloak.  
  
Liz grinned.  
  
"I'm surprised, he didn't even feel it come off," Sirius said, then shook his head.  
  
"And you did your job, right?" Remus asked.  
  
"'Course. James Potter and Lily Evans have been locked into the room behind this door," Chris said, and grinned.  
  
"Perfect!"  
  
The six covered themselves underneath the Invisibility Cloak (it was a very tight fit, but hey, humor me), and listened throught the door.  
  
  
  
"This is just great. These people who I thought were my friends locked me in a room with my ex-boyfriend," Lily thought to herself, looking across the room to where James sat.  
  
"What?" James asked, noticing how Lily was looking at him all of a sudden.  
  
"I'm just thinking about how I'm going to kill those three," Lily answered.  
  
"You want to help me kill Sirius, Remus, and Peter?" James asked.  
  
We both laughed, then stopped in mid-laugh.  
  
"So, who's your new girlfriend?" Lily asked, then thought "WHY DID I JUST ASK  
  
THAT? LILY, ARE YOU CRAZY?"  
  
"Don't have one," James answered shortly.  
  
Lily snorted, "James Potter, THE James Potter, without a girlfriend. What, does he have a fever?"  
  
"Nope, although Sirius thinks I do. Nope, I'm perfectly healthy," James answered.  
  
Lily felt a pang. "He's not dating anyone because of me. He still likes me," she realized in her thoughts. She shut her eyes and remained silent.  
  
"I've heard you, yourself, has turned down a lot of dates," James said, cautiously, like Lily might attack him.  
  
"I'm not in the mood to date, these days," she answered.  
  
Now they were both silent, an uneasy silence.  
  
"What do I say to her?" James thought, "She blew me off last time I tried to apologize, then I nearly got myself killed by her friend, Liz."  
  
  
  
"Why can't they do this QUICKLY! It's getting cold in here," Les whipsered on the other side of the door.  
  
"Sh!" five voices whispered.  
  
"Sorry," Les whispered. "But this is taking so long! They both still like each other, and they both know it! Why can't they just get done with this?"  
  
"Les, it takes time," Remus whispered.  
  
"Patience is not one of Les' qualities," Chris said.  
  
"SH!"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
  
  
Lily sat there, thinking. "I was kind of mean to him that one day. He was trying to apologize…"  
  
Her thoughts were messed up. James was sitting across the room, also thinking. But he was trying to think of a way to get out of here.  
  
"Hey, Lily, I have a way to get out, come here," he whispered, so no one would hear him.  
  
Lily looked up, and eyed him evily. He rolled his eyes and walked over to her.  
  
"I have a way to get out," he whispered, "But we can't let them hear us."  
  
"Anything to get out of here," she whispered.  
  
James explained the plan and Lily agreed. It was a very good plan, no matter how much she didn't want to do it.  
  
  
  
"Hey, you guys, listen? Did Lily just say what she think she said?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Yeah! She did! She just said, 'I'm sorry'! I knew this would work!" Liz cried, and grinned happily.  
  
"Sh, James is saying something," Remus whispered.  
  
The six listened through the door as the two said I'm sorry.  
  
  
  
Lily never felt weirder. She was tricking her friends into thinking her and James had made up and were getting back together, just to make them let her out.  
  
"James, I'm sorry for treating you so rudely before," Lily told him.  
  
It was suprising, Lily didn't feel that weird feeling you have when you're lieing.  
  
"Lily, I'm really sorry for what I did to you, and I regret it more than anything," James said.  
  
"He's a really good actor. I almost believe him…" Lily thought.  
  
She looked up at him and saw that he wasn't acting. He was saying all this, for real. It wasn't an act.  
  
"NO! LILY EVANS DO NOT DO THIS!" she yelled in her mind, "YOU'LL END UP LIKE THE REST OF THEM!"  
  
"James, can I ask you one thing? Do you know why you broke up with me?" she asked.  
  
James froze. It was silent for a minute, then James spoke.  
  
"Because I didn't want to fall in love. And Lily, this is for real, I love you," James whispered.  
  
Lily just stood there, holding her breath, like the people on the other side of the door. She stared at him, unsure of what to say.  
  
"James…" she whispered, and closed her eyes tight, "I… I… I love you too."  
  
  
  
On the other side of the door, the six friends were rejoicing. Until they heard something behind them…  
  
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"  
  
They turned to see Professor McGonagall, standing there, holding the Invisibilty Cloak that had slipped off them.  
  
"Six students out of bed in the middle of the night! Detention for each of you," she said, but before she could take off points she saw the way they were all gathered around a door.  
  
"What's behind here?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing, Professor, nothing at all," Sirius said.  
  
"Let me see," she said.  
  
"Don't you trust us, Professor?" Sirius asked.  
  
"No, Mr. Black, considering your record, I don't," she answered, and opened the door. "Well!" she cried.  
  
For inside, was James Potter and Lily Evans… kissing.  
  
"Professor!" Lily cried.  
  
"Eight students out of bed!" McGonagall cried. "Detention for you two as well!"  
  
  
  
The next day the eight 7th years sat around the Common Room, talking.  
  
"You two are back together, now, right?" Les asked.  
  
Lily and James nodded.  
  
"Now all we have to do is get Liz and Sirius together, and we'll be done," Chris said.  
  
Liz and Sirius looked horrified. Everyone laughed.  
  
"Don't you dare!" Liz yelled, and threw a pillow at Chris.  
  
And while everyone in the Common Room was listening to Liz giving them a verbal beating, Lily and James kissed each other.  
  
Author's Notes- well, it's over. Yep, the story is completed. I know, it's only two chapters, but they, THEY ARE LONG! So, tell me what you think, by reviewing, and be nice about it, PLEASE! By the way, to everyone who doesn't believe I have writer's block, trust me, I do!  
  
Thanks!  
  
Any additional comments can be given to me at tiff637@yahoo.com  
  
  
  
Starlight Eve 


	3. Epilogue- Sweet Misery

Author's Notes- Ok, I decided to make a Epilouge/songfic for "Am I Missing You". I know, I know, I'm pathetic. Anyways, I'll try to connect the song (which is "Sweet Misery" from Michelle Branch's CD, The Spirit Room) to the fic, but I LOVE this song, it's so sweet, so... yeah.  
  
Disclamer- I own nothing. The characters belong to the Harry Potter people (I'm not on their payroll), and the song belongs to Michelle Branch and her people (I'm not on their payroll EITHER).  
  
Am I Missing You  
  
Sweet Misery  
  
~I was lost  
  
And you were found  
  
You seemed to stand on solid ground~  
  
Lily Evans was not exactly that noticed around her school. She had friends, and was tight with them. But other than that, her reputation was "boys, stay away". James Potter was the most popular boy in the same school. He had friends, as was tight with them to. But his repuatation was "girls fall at my feet, and I get bored with them after a week". That's how it was, for nearly six years...  
  
~I was weak  
  
And you were strong  
  
And me and my guitar  
  
We strummed along~  
  
When James Potter first accepted his friend's dare he never knew it was going to change his life. When he talked to Lily in the Library that one day, and asked her out, he thought she'd accept without hesitation. Lily didn't really care about James. She only accepted to teach him a lesson. But would that lesson be taught?  
  
~Sweet misery you cause me  
  
Sweet misery you called me  
  
Sweet misery you cause me~  
  
Lily didn't see it coming that night in the Common Room, when James broke up with her. When James walked into the Common Room and saw Lily waiting for him, he thought it was the right thing to do. He was happy she didn't cry. But he didn't know just how many tears she shed in private. He didn't know the misery he caused her.  
  
~I was blind  
  
But oh, how you could see  
  
You saw the beauty in everything  
  
Everything and me~  
Before James came along Lily was untouchable. After he left she was dateable. The only problem was James still liked Lily, and Lily still liked James. She couldn't see how much she loved James until he was gone. But James saw much he loved Lily before she was gone, and only loved her more once she was gone. She was blind, and he could see.  
  
~I would cry  
  
And you would smile  
  
You'd stay with me a little while~  
  
The tears shed over James Potter could probably have filled an ocean. And he didn't care. That's what he did to girls. He'd date them for a little while, then they'd flood the school with their tears when he broke up with him. That's what he was used to. That's what he expected. That's what came easy to him. But the easy way isn't the right road. That's one of the reasons he fell in love with Lily Evans.  
  
~Sweet misery you caused me  
  
Sweet misery you called me  
  
Sweet misery you caused me~  
Then, that night after the second Quidditch match, James tried again, but the outcome was only more heartbreak for both of them.  
  
"I'm sorry for what I did last year, and if I could go back in time and stop myself from doing that, I would," James said, finally happy that he had gotten in out.  
  
"Then why did you dump me in the first place?" Lily asked, then added, "Is it because I look different now? Is it because I changed, and I'm getting looks from other guys?"  
  
"No!" James answered.  
  
"Then what is it? Why did you dump me?" Lily whispered, fighting back tears.  
  
"I don't know!" James finally said.  
  
~And in my heart I see, oh  
  
What you're doing to me  
  
And I my heart I see, oh  
  
Just how you wanted it to be  
  
Sweet misery~  
  
James' original plan was to treat Lily just like the other multitude of faceless girls. Lily knew that. But she didn't care. None of the girls he dated did. They all thought they would be different. Lily thought differently. Lily wanted to bring him to justice. But James couldn't treat Lily like the rest of them. She was different. Together, the two of them were different.  
  
~Oh, whoa~  
  
She thought she had been different for him, they all did. But James still dumped her. And she missed him.  
  
~Sweet misery you cause me  
  
Sweet misery you called me  
  
Sweet misery you cause me~  
  
After a year their friends took it into their own hands. They locked Lily and James in a room, and wouldn't let them out. Not until they made up. They weren't about to let themselves rot in misery, which is what they were doing. And since the two wouldn't do it on their own, the six friends took matters into their own hands...  
  
~And in my heart I see, oh  
  
What you're doing to me  
  
And in my heart I see, oh  
  
Just how you wanted it to be  
  
Sweet misery~  
  
"Lily, I'm really sorry for what I did to you, and I regret it more than anything," James said.  
  
"He's a really good actor. I almost believe him..." Lily thought.  
  
She looked up at him and saw that he wasn't acting. He was saying all this, for real. It wasn't an act.  
  
"And Lily, this is for real, I love you," James whispered.  
  
"James..." she whispered, and closed her eyes tight, "I... I... I love you too."  
  
And when she kissed him, she knew what he had wanted it to be like. And for once, she didn't care.  
  
~I was weak  
  
And you were strong  
  
And me and my guitar  
  
We strummed along~  
  
What started off as a dare from a best friend turned out as a love that would last a lifetime. Lily Evans and James Potter would stay together until one Halloween night... But even then, when Voldemort killed them, their love lasted forever.  
  
Author's Notes- well, I swear, this is all that there is of Am I Missing You. I hope you all liked it. There's going to be a sequel! Yeah (shout out to Wandering Blue Andalite for giving me the idea), it's about Liz and Sirius *grins evilly*. So look for that! Also, go read Lily's Lake and Yours Hating James Potter if you allready haven't (my reviewers tell me they're both really good). Thanks everyone!  
  
Any further comments can be read by me at [1]StarlightEve111@aol.com  
  
L/J FOREVER!  
  
READ AND REVIEW!  
  
  
  
References  
  
1. mailto:StarlightEve111@aol.com 


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